So, here I am – home. 5 weeks flew by.
I walked off of the plane and into the arrival terminal only to find 3 of my best friends standing there with open arms and a handful of balloons. Wow, guys, I have the most amazing friends in the world.
I saw them even before I saw my parents – now those are some awesome friends, God, I am SO BLESSED. I ran up to them and put my arms around all of them at once. They rock, seriously. I was so happy and surprised to see them. We eventually ran into my parents and the “welcome home” brigade continued 🙂 I’m going out for snowballs with everyone later tonight. 😀
Here’s what I wrote while on my flight today.
Oh, and just a heads up…
This is a novel of a post ;)…
Before I left for California I didn’t realize how much I’d fall in love with the state. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting my life to take this turn, and I just didn’t really get a chance to take it all in, the time span from when I got the job and plane tickets to when I arrived out there was three days, just three. Sure, my family and friends were worried and some even doubted me, but you know what? I believe in myself, and they changed their mind, and sure as hell regret ever doubting me now.
If there’s one thing out of all the thoughts racing through my mind right now, it’s the fact that I, myself made it happen. If you want something, you have to go for it. You can’t expect things to just happen – life doesn’t work like that. I knew I wanted an internship this summer, and I also knew I wanted to travel, I wanted to expose myself – to throw myself out there and really feel what it was like to live in the real world – sans friends family and any familiar places. So I did. I believe I am a stronger and more confident person than I’ve ever been before, and I was ready to live like it.
If you ever doubt your capabilities, others will too. It’s simple. You have to show people that you are capable, and sometimes you have to prove people wrong in their thoughts if you had self-doubt before, but have had a rebirth of motivation and self-love instead of self-loath, which so many people suffer with. You can’t expect everything to always go right, and get pissed off and discouraged when it doesn’t. Sure, there’ll be those moments, but don’t drag them out longer than you need to. You’re dragging yourself down as well as the people around you and their beliefs in you. Get a grip and do what you’ve gotta do.
Did I get every internship I applied for? No. But did that mean I was going to settle for something I didn’t want to do? Hell no. You are in control of your life – every moment you spend wallowing in the fact that something didn’t happen is a moment wasted where you could’ve been moving on and finding new opportunities. Sometimes I feel like people spend so much time getting disappointed in themselves because of a certain experience or situation that they’re in, that they don’t pay attention to the fact that they have the power to change.
Change is good, change is amazing, and tough love or not, it’s not gonna happen if you just absolutely refuse to let it. Sure, I’ve totally been in that situation, but like I’ve said before, when you fall down, you don’t just sit there and sulk (especially if you’re in the middle of a road), you pick yourself back up and keep on walking. (and maybe share a few laughs or bruises.) Such is life, you must keep moving – the more and more you simply think about something, talk about it, complain about it, whatever, is the more time you’re wasting. And just a reminder: life is precious.
You are in control of your life, no one is going to make it happen for you.
As I sit on this plane, it’s all still extremely bittersweet…and so is my coffee. It’s actually pretty gross, but hey, it’s coffee and it’s also 7am – homegirl needs her brew! Therese dropped me off at the airport around 5am this morning, after we spend a good 20 minutes trying to find the freeway – totally typical of us. I can’t even tell you how many driving mishaps we’ve had – I’m expecting someone to report the 18 Rabbits vehicle (his name is Oswald, by the way) and tell the authorities that there’s a 10-year old driving it, or a crackhead – both very believable situations in a city like that.
I’m gonna miss that girl – she’s absolutely incredible, and despite what she’s been through in her life, she is making the best out of everything as well. I admire her so much for all that she’s accomplished while not always having the support of her immediate family – something I really don’t know what I’d do without. I am blessed. The more and more I think about seeing my family this evening at the airport, the better this coffee tastes.
…or maybe it’s because I just added about 5 packets of sugar to it. No big deal.
I imagine running up to my parents, who both plan to be there, and giving them the biggest bear hug ever. That is if I don’t trip/get dragged down by my luggage while running, or pee my pants because I drank way too much coffee. Both are possible, people!
I’m not really sure how, but my luggage somehow magically expanded while I was in San Francisco and I had to sit on each of my two gigantic red suitcases to zip them shut this morning. Mind you, it was 3am and I was definitely cursing at them – yeah, my roommates totally dig me right now.
I already miss waking up in San Francisco and taking the bus to work, and you know what? There was never a day where I thought to myself “gee, I really don’t wanna work today” I want a job like that always. I will never settle for something less than happiness. Amen.
I did a lot of fun designs for 18 Rabbits, and enjoyed every minute I got to spend doing demos and giveaways – I’m sure ya’ll liked the giveaways too 😉 Don’t worry, there’s always more to come and you betcho booty I’ll let you know. Meanwhile at home, I’m still going to be working for the company – doing demo’s at MOM’s Market and possibly more designs. I made it pretty clear that I wanted to stay with 18 Rabbits, and I was kindly invited to. I am so thankful. Also, I will be going back to San Francisco next summer if all goes as planned, and I am considering moving out there after I graduate. I have a year to think about it all, but if I want it to happen, I will try my hardest to make it happen.
San Francisco is a beautiful city with awesome people. Sure, it was a wake up call when I first arrived and learned that I’d be walking prettymuch everywhere – but I got over it, and actually began to really enjoy it. I’m hoping my ass looks a little bigger from scaling hills everyday – workin’ dem glutes, baby! Now I understand why so many people are in shape out here (and why the dudes have nice butts too) Holla.
When I wasn’t walking or taking the company car, the bus was also fun. So many different people. Not gonna lie though, there was a few times I was scared of the person sitting next to me – usually because they smelled and I didn’t know if I’d survive the trip home without a gas mask and Febreeze. I did, though. Sometimes I also really wished it would’ve been appropriate to tell someone that they’re bright green thong was hanging out, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was probably supposed to be that way. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a hoochi mama.
Side note: drinking an entire cup of coffee in 5 minutes flat is a terrible idea. Especially when you’ve got the window seat and everyone wishes you would just invest in a damn diaper cause you get up every ten minutes.
I was thrilled to see so many cool restaurants as well, and places to explore! I also enjoyed meeting this gem of a woman as well, and cannot wait to see her again. Natalie is another incredible person that I am so blessed to have in my life now as well. You can read all about our day long adventure here, or check out her post here.
Therese and I found a new place to frolic around every weekend – even if it was just a simple field, coffee shop or farmer’s market – everything was neat. I had to take advantage of the things that I don’t have back home within walking distance. Also, if I tried to walk anywhere at home, I’d most likely get hit by a car or lost. My town isn’t on a grid system like San Fran, and there’s lots of trees.
Anyways, I still have so much on my mind but I’m really trying not to write a novel here, but it looks like I’ve already failed. Woops.
You can check out all of my California posts by going through my June archive.
Thank you all so, so much for taking this journey with me on my blog – I hope it was as fun to read about as it was for me to share.
If you have any questions, ask me. You know I’d love to talk your ear off. All in all, California changed my mind set in so many ways, and I am so blessed to have been able to experience a glimpse of life outside of the one I was living with the support of familiarity and the comfort of my own home – those days are over though, I am an adult, I am well aware of who I am and life is happening. I want so much more out of life than I was getting, and I got it – and I plan on keeping it up. I had the time of my life, hands down, and that’s how I should always be living.
God put me on this Earth for a purpose, and damn am I ever ready to fulfill it.
If you’re reading this, it means I’m home safe, probably spending time with my fam and Cara.
Either that or sitting on my bedroom floor staring at my suitcase which probably just blew chunks all over my floor, I really have to teach it to stop doing that. It should know by now where all of my belongings are supposed to be placed.
Peace and love,
p.s. next few posts include A TON of reviews & as promised – a hair post. Hair counts as healthy living blogging, right?! 😉